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Most of time, we want to at our best and performance at high level compare with other. At that time, most of time we can't or won't. Because fear of people’s opinions may be holding you back from your capacity.
Let us think about some event when you were in extremely anxiety. For example, before standing on public speaking, or raising the hand in meeting / presentation or going alone in usually place or meeting the stranger. The emotion you felt like small, scared and tense, because you were worried about social disapproval or fear of other people’s opinions. It's has become an irrational and unproductive obsession most of us in the modern world, and its also have negative effects reach far beyond our performance level.
If you can stop listening less and less attention to other people opinions, then your performance will far beyond now. So simple question "What makes you". And answer is simple that is YOU (your talents, beliefs, ideas and values) and start conforming to what others may or may not think, that will harm your full potential. If you start to listen to them, then You’ll start playing it safe because you’re afraid of what will happen on the other side of the critique. After that you’ll start to fear being failures or rejected. When you were your challenged, you’ll surrender your viewpoint to other. Otherwise, You won’t raise your hand when you can’t control the outcome. You won’t go for that promotion because you won’t think you’re qualified.
Unfortunately, fear of other people’s opinions is part of the our regular activities or human condition, since we’re operating with an ancient brain. Thousands of years ago, if you're failed hunt, then your place in the tribe could be threatened. The desire to fit in with other and the paralyzing fear of being disliked, so we were undermine our ability to pursue the lives we want to create.
If you find yourself experiencing other people’s opinions, there are ways to intensity of your stress responses. Once you’re aware of your thoughts, guide yourself toward confidence-building statements like
1. I am a good public speaker.
2. I’ve put in the work so that I can trust my abilities.
3. I have a lot of great things to say.
4. I’m completely prepared for this promotion.
These statements will help you focus on your skills and abilities rather than others’ opinions. Take deep breaths, too. This will signal to your brain that you’re not in immediate danger.
But, if you really need to control other people opinions, then you’ll need to cultivate more self-awareness. Most of us will know about life with a some of general opinion of who we are and how we reached here, in a lot of circumstances, that’s enough. But if you want to be your best while being less fearful of people’s opinions, you need to develop a stronger and much deeper sense of who you are.
You can start by developing a word or a phrase that expresses your basic beliefs and values. I have a my phase to avoid people opinions it's was "Why so Serious?". For me, Why so Serious means why do I need to spending every day to working hard to get better everything. This philosophy isn’t a platitude or slogan; it is pure movie dialogue, but for me, it was my compass, guardian my actions, thoughts, and decisions. In every of my life.
When you need to coming up with your personal philosophy, ask yourself some of questions like
1. What type of people characteristics and qualities that are in alignment with mine?
2. What are my qualities?
3. What are your favorite quotes?
4. Your favorite words?
Once you’ve answered these questions, circle the words that common to you and cross out the other ones that don’t. After studying what’s left, try to come up with a phrase or sentence that lines up with exactly who you are and how you want to live your life. If you're confused, then share the draft with a loved one, ask for input, after that you can tune your philosophy from there. Then commit it to memory and say it daily.
I’ve read some articles and books of great people life, that beyond a relentless pursuit of being their best, what makes these high performers great is their clear sense of the principles that guide them. Because of their clarity, they’re more willing to push themselves, learn more, and embrace discomfort. They can shut out the noise and opinions of fans and media and listen to their own well-calibrated, internal compass.
Once you’ve developed your own personal philosophy, commit yourself to live with accordance to that. For most of us, it will start at home. Tell that person you love them. Dance at a wedding. Take risks. Be respectfully weird. (That probably means, be you.) Then try it at work. Give a presentation. Go for that promotion. Do things that will engender the opinions of others. When you feel the power of fear of other people opinions holding you back, simply acknowledge it, and re-connect to your philosophy and the larger objective at hand.
