I am going to tell you that some of point to make better conversation with anyone but honestly if you just choose one of them and master it. It also make conversation even better and enjoy experience for you.
1. Don't do multitask
I mean don't just sit down with your cell phone or your tablet or your laptop or your car/bike keys or whatever is in your hand because it will not make any difference for better conversation. I mean, be present 🎁🎁. Be in that moment, don't think about your argument with your boss or problems with your bus or what you're going to have for dinner or something else. If you want to get out of the conversation, just get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it. If you can't continue with conversation please stop it because nobody will complain about that. If you can't give the proper attention to somebody, then it better to leaving him is good.
2. Don't Pontificate (Let others talk)
If you want to state or share your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or any feedback or any improvement in your opinion. Then the best idea to write a blog, with comments in disable mode. Now there is your really good reasons, why I don't allow the others to continue my discussion because they are really boring and uninteresting topic for me. For example,
If they're conservative, then they going to discuss about food, place, person character, or compliance.
If they're liberal, then they going to discuss about big banks, oil corporation, government policy or wealth people.
It's totally predictable. And you don't want to be like that you need to be enter every conversation assuming that you are something to spoke or teach. Whenever there is discuss we must think that they know something and we can learn from them.
"The true listening requires a settle aside of oneself". In this example, we can say settling aside with oneself means is settling with your personal opinion. If we can do that then there is a some proverbs say that "The speaker will become less and less valuable and more and more like to open up the inner recesses of his mind to the listener"
Bill Nye say "Everyone you ever meet knows something that you don't" mean everyone is good at something, try to listen to them.
3. Ask open ended questions
Always start your question with 'who what when where why or how' are something like that. If you are going to put a most complicated question in the simple conversation, then there will be simple answer like yes or no for it.
If I asked you question like "Are you terrified?" you are going to response to the most powerful word in that sentences which is "terrified" and the answer will be "Yes, I was" Or "No, I wasn't". Or "Were you anary with me?" Then answer maybe"yes or no"
Whenever you are going to ask the question to them, let them describe it. They are the one that know their try to asking things like "What was that like?" "How did that feeling about me?" because then they might have to stop a moment for response and think about it. Then you are going to get much more interesting response or better way to start the conversation.
4. Go with the flow
That means whatever comes into your mind and you need to let him go out of your mind. Most of us attended or taken the interview for others which a guest is talking for several minutes and then the interviewer come back in a question which seem like his come out of the nowhere or it already been answered by you. That means the interviewer probably stop listening 2 minutes ago or thinking about something else because he thought that this clearly clever question and just waiting for right moment to come saying it. And we also do exact same thing most of the time.
We're just sitting there having a conversation with someone and then we remember that time that we meet with someone in the shops or purchase department or something. And we stop listening and suddenly we are going to have some ideas are come to us. At that time, you you need to let them come out or let topic involved in the discussion.
5. If you don't know, say that you don't know
Because most of the people, they are afraid to tell that they don't know anything about topic, it is really make them annoying and it make as really uncomfortable for us. Most of people on social media like Facebook, YouTube, especially on radio or live interview. Most of the answer are to going on the record. So they need to be more careful about what they need to say and when they claim to be expert in it and what they are claiming to know for sure. Do that for the side of caution. Otherwise our talk should become cheap word.
Communication is characterised by not expressing your thoughts,feelings or wishes.This form of communication can make you feel like others are walking all over you.
6. Don't equate your experience with their
If they are talking about having a loss of your family number, don't start telling about the time when you lost your family number. If they are talking about a trouble, they are having at your work with the boss, don't tell them about how much you hate your job now. It is not a same, and it is never the same. All the experience are personal to the them, not with you. All experience are unique and individual, but not same. And most importantly, it is not about you. You don't need to take the moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you have suffer in the past. Conversation are not your opportunity to prove them how amazing you are.
7. Try not to repeat yourself
It condescending, and it's really boring and we tend to do it a lot , especially in work conversation or in a conversation with our lovely kids. We have the point to make, so we just keep the rephrase it over and over. So don't do that. Otherwise they will misunderstand with you.
8. Stay out of the weeds
Frankly, people don't care about the years or the name or the date and all of the detail that you are struggling to come up with in your mind. There really don't care. What they care about is you. They are what your likes and what you have in common with them. So forget a detailed, just make interesting topic common between you and them.
9. Show them you're listening(it is not your last one but most important one)
I can't tell you how many times really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most and the number one most important skill that you can developed. Buddha say "If your mouth is open, you are not learning".
"No man ever listened his way out of the jab, why do we not listen to each other, because we'd rather like talk. When I am talking, I am in control. So I don't have to listen anyone. I am not interested in other opinion. I just need a centre of attention. I can booster my own identity while speaking. But there is another reason, we get distracted easily when listening because the average person talks to 225 word per minute but we can listen up to 500 words per minute. So our brain are filling in these other 275 words with other thoughts. And look I know, it's take effort and energy, to actually pay attention to someone. But if you can't do that, then you are not in the conversation. You are just two person standing in front of each other and shouting out barely related statement in the same place. You have to listen to one another.
"Most of us does not listen with the intent to understand we listen with intent to reply to them"
10. Be brief
All of this boil down to the same basic concept and it is this one: Be interested in other people. You know I grow up with some famous family near us, there was a kind of people was coming continue to them. One day my father say "Do you who is they?". My answer is no. Then my father say "They are some achievement people who is famous in politics, local celebrity, or sports people. People come over to them to talk about some advice." After that, I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can. And I keep my mind open. I am always prepared to be amazing with other and I never disappointment with any of it. All the people is do the same thing, "Go out, talk to the people, and listen to the people". And most importantly listened to them what they are thinking and what they are want to do.
11. Accept that they may disagree with you
If someone comes to you for help or advice,don’t expect them to do exactly what you say.While they may have sought your advice,they may also disagree with it.Let them choose their own path. Even you advise them for the better life, it's pure based on your life experience not them. For example, I am telling you to purchase something for your house or office, maybe they will feel that is not necessary for them, then it's ok. Sometime is good to leave them to decide which is best for them.
12. Take time to respond
After you’ve listened to them (and/or understood) take time to “draft” in your head what you want to say. Most of the question, you don't need to answer quickly. When somebody ask you something, then they may need proper answer or advice, so think before speaking to them. Without thinking any thing and answer the question it may be create like you are not listening to them. If someone asked your question without thinking, then don’t blame the other person for not understanding it. Instead, look for ways to clarify or rephrase or think twice what you are trying to say so it can make them understood it even better.
“If we go into a conversation feeling very angry, upset or too emotional, then the communication tends to become too heated and difficult to find resolution,” says Sommerfeldt.
13. Pay attention to body language
Body language can tell you just as much as what a person says, if not more. Observe how they act when they talk. Is your co-worker saying she can meet a deadline, but wringing her hands while she says it? She might be afraid to tell you it will be hard to make the due date.
