Hi friend, in this
blogger I am going to discuss about my personal feeling while I am far from my
family. When I figured out something was wrong it was too late. It consumed me.
I was so close to going through with it until someone rang and snapped me out
of the way I was feeling. At the time I thought I had no one, no family or
friends. I felt like I couldn’t speak to anyone about my mental health.
I had already lost a close friend to suicide. I’d heard about the high suicide
rates amongst men which made me think “why is there no help for men to talk
about their mental health” - because at the time I didn’t know how or where to
get help from.
When friends used to ask how I was feeling, I just used to say “I’m alright
thanks” and nothing more. The stigma around mental health made me think I would
look weak or stupid for talking about my feelings. So I didn’t.
I felt trapped and alone, like no-one would understand what I was going
through. One day the thoughts going though my head became too much. I lost a
job because I broke down and couldn’t handle it anymore. I didn’t get out of
bed for weeks because that was my safety area and nothing could go wrong if I
stayed there.
When that was happening, my family started to notice and took me to the doctors
and I got help. If it wasn’t for this I’m sure I wouldn’t be here
anymore. Sometimes you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors but
all I can say is be there for people and help them find someone before it’s too
late. I have now lost more friends but there were no signs or anything
noticeable to give off something was wrong.
All I can say is be there for one another because just someone to talk to when
you’re struggling can go a long way. Now I’m feeling a bit better about myself,
don’t get me wrong I’m still a bit scared going out to places but I’m getting
there with help.
I decided to share my story because there are still so many men and women out
there who still need someone to help them and to talk to.
My depression and anxiety was so bad at the time. I was
snapping at everyone, I had no feelings towards anything, I didn’t want to do
anything. It cripples you so much that I thought what’s the point in
life.
I used to think they
were better off without me, that they could do so much better without me in
their lives. I also thought that about everyone else in my life but now I know
that isn’t true. I opened up to friends and family about my mental health and
they are all supporting me. Now I’m trying my best for myself to get better. To
be honest I didn’t think I would end up like this. It all hit me at once
because I bottled everything up for a very long time. Until I couldn’t cope
anymore, but with the help I’m getting I’m finding myself again and learning
how to deal with things better.
Now, I always talk to someone if I need help instead of hiding it away and
keeping it to myself. It can be hard to talk about mental health, but if we all
get better at talking about how we’re really doing, we can help to break down
the mental health stigma.
