I planning to join any company at
any salary but all I need is freedom from my past and provide the next few year
living. As day passes, I finally find that all I need is to living other place,
experiencing a new cultures, and taking advantage of the lower cost of living
in many place. It was the dream and as a twenty two year old adventure seeker,
it was exactly what I wanted out of life.
As day passed, everything becoming dream, but suddenly I got the job. I had some admirable valve going on like a thirst to see the world, a curiosity for people and culture, some old-fashioned adventure seeking. But there also existed a faint outline of shame underlying everything else. At the time I was hardly aware of it, but I was completely honest with myself, and I knew there was a screwed up valve in there. I couldn’t see the future belongs to this point, but in quiet moments when I was completely honey with myself, and I could feel it.
After couple month, I feel
something change around me, it may be my friend, family or my oblivious
(character). My first travel is started in that period also. And I feel that a
freedom grants is the opportunity for greater meaning (but by itself there is
nothing necessarily meaning about it).
In that journey, I travel to my
first site visit, and along in different culture place. In travelling, I feel
that the food sucked, the weather sucked. You know why that trip is sucked
because my ticket is also not confirm and I need to travel from 14 hours in
train. At start I feel that travelling is suck. While traveling, everything was
overpriced, people were rude and smelled funny. Nobody smiled to anyone. Yet, I
loved it. It was one of my favorite trips.
Some of the biggest waste of my
time and energy came during this period is end. After that day, I started to
think that everyone in this culture rubs that everything is wrong in our
culture. You don’t smile at strangers or pretend to like anything you don’t. In
that travel, I found that, if something is stupid, you say it’s stupid. Or if
someone is being an doing some discomfort thing, you tell him he doing some
unnecessary thing. Because they can’t understand your language, is it good?.
Ever if you really like someone and thinking that are having a great time. It
don’t matter at all if this person is your friend, a stranger or someone you
met only on that journey.
The first days I found that all of
this really uncomfortable. But I went to the site and there I met a person.
Within a few minutes of that meeting, he look at me as funny and upset day. I
nearly choked with my words because its make me look an idiot without knowing
the problem. Then I thought that there was nothing wrong about guessing the
person character with a behavior. But still I was shocked.
But day passes, I started to feel
that they are right about it, not me. And then I started to appreciate the
person for what it really was in inexpression ways. Anyway Honesty is the
truest sense of the world. I believe that communication with no condition, no
strings attached, no ulterior motive, no sales job about me, and no desperate
attempt to be liked thing. The period in there is coming to the end, I didn’t
want to leave.
From that travel, I started to
believe that travel is a fantastic self-development tool, because it extricates
you from the valves of your culture and shows you that another society can live
with entirely different or opposite valve and we still going on without hate
themselves.
After many months, I finally
realization this and its coming to me slowly over the course of my last few
years traveling. As with most excesses in life, you have to drown or forced
yourself in them to realize that they don’t make to you happy. Such as
travelling in many city or country. As I drowned in my twenty two, twenty
three, twenty four place, I began to understand that while all of my exciting
and great, few of them would have any lasting significance. Whereas my few
friends back home were settling done with marriages, buying houses, and giving
their time to interesting companies or political causes, I was floundering from
one high to the next.
Now I like to live in one place.
And I have a house and furniture and an electric bill and my books and with my
mother. None of it is particularly glamorous or exciting. But I like it in that
way. Because after all the year of excitement, the biggest lesson I took from
my travelling was this: absolute freedom means nothing at all. But now it’s
changed from past. Because freedom grants the opportunity for greater meaning,
but now there is nothing nothing necessarily meaningful about it. Now only way
to achieve meaning and a sense of importance of life is accept the true about
ourselves, even a narrowing of freedom, or a choice of commitment to one place,
one job, one belief, or one person
Now I know who am I really. I am
the person who blame other for my own emotions (mistake or misunderstanding)
and actions (caring or working) doing, so I believe that if I constantly show
them as victims, because someone will come along and save them, and they will
receive the loved or caring person they’ve always wanted. It make them happily
and fixing the problem. In my mindset, I always think that I doing most of the
work for my selfish reason like helping other, doing everything, make them
freedom etc,.
“FRIEND OF
EVERYONE IS FRIEND OF NO ONE”
